Our team has been working to train people for the coming Zombie Apocalypse through tools and tips learned in their various fields of expertise. We expect to give you the same tools and training to ensure your one of the survivors, and not part of the undead plague.
By keeping up to date on the latest literature, tools, and training we plan to show you how to stay healthy and avoid becoming one of the undead horde that will pillage humanity. So check back with us on a regular basis to ensure you are prepared to survive the Zombie Apocalypse
The Best Zombie Machete For You
One of the questions we get more than any other is, “What is the best machete for killing zombies?” We’ve given it some thought recently, and pooled our own machetes to see where we stood. Not unsurprisingly there were a variety of blades displayed, and each person had their own reasons for choosing their personal weapon.
Taking this in we quickly realized that there is no perfect machete for killing zombies. There may however be a perfect weapon for you to use when killing zombies. We hashed some ideas back and forth and eventually came up with the following list to help you when choosing the best machete for you to use.
- Find a machete you can easily carry. Most machetes are lightweight, so this is pretty easy, still you want to make sure you get something that won’t weigh you down while you’re on the run from the zombie hordes.
- Make sure you can easily swing your machete. Machetes come in multiple lengths and widths. Go to your local hardware store and sort through the options available. Take several practice swings and find the one that has the best heft for your arm length. You don’t want something too long that takes forever to swing, but you don’t want something too short that allow the zombies to get up close. Find that perfect middle for you.
- Steel, always steel. The only thing we found in similarity amongst our collected machetes was that they were all made of steel. Usually carbon steel, with some variations of chromed, blackened, or brushed finish. Regardless, steel is your best option as it is the strongest metal available and won’t shatter as it cracks open a skull
- Shape doesn’t matter. Whether you prefer the classic machete, the ka-bar, or the kukhri, it’s up to you. There are differences between how each reacts to impacting flesh, so make sure you take the time to test out what works best for you.
- Avoid the saw-backs. Some machetes, usually called gator machetes, come with a branch saw on the back. While we see how this could be a help around the house, it’s a mistake when killing zombies. The teeth of the saw just have too high a chance of getting caught on a bone while you’re trying to pull it out of the former zombie’s head. Not a good possibility if there’s more than one on your heels.
- Two are better than one, and three are better than two. If you’re going to be stopping by the hardware store anyway, pick up three machetes. They’re not all that pricey, they’re light, and you never know when one will get caught in a brain pan or shatter. Always have a backup and a backup to your backup.
So those are our tips for choosing a machete for your zombie killing needs. If you can think of some other things we may have missed when we were making this list, throw it in the comments below.
If you are in the market for a new (or first) machete, remember that ultimately you are the deciding factor. Make sure you get something you think you can use. It doesn’t have to be pretty, it just has to be useful.
There seems to be a great deal of confusion on whether or not zombies will attack animals, and if they do, will those animals become infected, simply die, or go on with their lives. As this video shows, some types of zombies will indeed attack animals that enter their vicinity, but this is not always the case.
Some types of zombies will indeed attack an animal, though those same types will typically attack any warm or moving object. Some types of zombies will only attack certain types of animals (e.g., mammals but not lizards,) and some types of zombies will only go after a human being.
To make this a little more straightforward we have come up with the following lists to help you in knowing whether or not your family pets are safe.
Zombies that Will Attack Animals:
Zombies that Will Only Attack Humans
- Chemical Zombies
- Nano-Zombies
- Techno-Zombies
- Other Miscellaneous
To understand how to identify each type of zombie, please click on the links above and review the various articles. This will advise you on how to identify your zombies, and find out whether they are a threat to only you, or if you need to protect your pets as well.
One important item to note when reviewing the articles, not all zombie types can be spread to your animals. So while you may want to protect Spot from being eaten, if he does get bitten, you do not necessarily need to put him out of his misery.
If your pet/horse/cow/sheep does receive a bite, and you are unsure what type of zombie you have encountered, the safest option is to put the animal down. We understand that this is difficult (nigh on impossible for some.) We are pet owners and animal lovers ourselves, and to have to put down your own animal is one of the most difficult decisions one can make, even if it isn’t due to an infected bite from a zombie.
That said, the infected pet is no longer the loving, caring creature you have shared time and adventures with. If not now, then soon it will turn into a vicious, ravenous creature with only your death in mind.
If you cannot bring yourself to put your pet down, and you have not been able to identify the type of zombie bite it has received, you have two options.
- Have an acquaintance do the dirty work for you. Do NOT let a friend do it. It will ruin your relationship completely. You will always question your decision, and if a friend has to put down your beloved pet, you will forever look at them with that question, and that anger. Make sure the person you ask is someone you either don’t like, or don’t have a close connection with. It will change your relationship with them as well, but it’s less likely to ruin a friendship. Ironically, it may even lead to a stronger connection with that person.
- Lock the possibly infected animal up and monitor it over the course of several days. An infection that can spread to an animal will show its signs within 72-120 hours (three to five days.) If your pet is still its same old self after that time, you can consider yourself reasonably safe and release them.
NOTE: We cannot stress enough how dangerous, and frankly stupid this option is. Primarily, keeping a potentially infected animal locked up for up to a week can cause issues of its own. What if you have to move because of a coming horde? What about the animals natural biological processes and the necessary cleanup? Where can you keep a horse locked up that where you can guarantee it won’t escape, break free, etc.?
Additionally, there is no guarantee that even after five, ten, or even 100 days that your pet is guaranteed infection free. All creatures have different resistances to infections. Your chihuahua may be naturally immune to the zombie bacteria, but can still pass it on if he bites you. The only way to guarantee your safety from your pet is to put it down, no matter how difficult the decision.
To be blunt, it’s you or them. In a war against the zombification of all humanity your pet may become collateral damage. It’s sad, it’s difficult to come to terms with, it’s your only guarantee for safety.
In the war against zombies, animals are often caught in the middle. Many people are forced to abandon their pets when they go on the run. Even more are turned and have no recollection of their family and friends, much less their pets.
While some animals are trained to help humanity against the zombie threats, many are left to fend for themselves and have been known to become a danger in themselves. Feral packs of both dogs, cats, and even escaped zoo animals have been known to roam urban wastelands after an outbreak.
For these reasons, we recommend that if you are a pet owner and you realize that an outbreak is occurring, please do something about your pets. They will not likely be able to make it through the outbreak alive, and may even become a danger to you and your survival group. We know it’s difficult, but it may become necessary.
Video Credit: VideoSlave
Make the mistake of choosing a plastic handled machete and you’ll find it quite useless shortly. After a couple of good zombie nugget lopings you’ll have a machete drenched with blood and without a rubber grip you’ll quickly lose one of your most valuable zombie weapons and soon after…. your life!
Posted on July 8th, 2010 at 12:10 am
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