Our team has been working to train people for the coming Zombie Apocalypse through tools and tips learned in their various fields of expertise. We expect to give you the same tools and training to ensure your one of the survivors, and not part of the undead plague.
By keeping up to date on the latest literature, tools, and training we plan to show you how to stay healthy and avoid becoming one of the undead horde that will pillage humanity. So check back with us on a regular basis to ensure you are prepared to survive the Zombie Apocalypse
Archive for October, 2009
Happy Halloween, Now Watch Your Back
First of all, Happy Halloween. We love this holiday mostly because it allows us to let go of our inhibitions for a single day, go out and have fun. We hope you all are enjoying your day and the festivities going on around the world.
With that, Halloween is a time when you do have to be on additional alert for a zombie outbreak. Not only are there huge crowds, and lots of revelry, outbreaks that occur at or around this time of the year often go unnoticed or undiagnosed.
Additionally we are coming up on one of the highest travel seasons of the year. There is no greater potential spread of a localized zombie outbreak than during the holiday travel season.
During this time people are moving across the globe, visiting family and friends, and celebrating the end of the old year and the beginning of the new en masse. Due to these factors more people are likely to be exposed to an outbreak than at any other time of the year. People are more likely to let in sick relatives, offer those “down on their luck” a helping hand, and meet in large gatherings that can potentially spread an outbreak quickly and all too efficiently. Read the rest of this entry »
Rule 6: Cast Iron Skillet and Rule 15: Bowling Ball
We have very little to say about these “rules.” They were obviously made up by the producers to fill the list and market the film, and they’re both stupid.
While we agree that a cast iron skillet is a functional object for both breaking skulls and making eggs, it’s not a rule, it’s a piece of metal. In fact, if you’re on the run, the last thing you want to have to carry is a cast iron skillet. They are heavy and will just slow you down.
As for a bowling ball, that’s also a noun and not a rule. It’s not even a very functional zombie killer. Try aiming a thrown bowling ball at a zombie’s head. Hell, try aiming one at a truck, you’re probably going to miss either one. Read the rest of this entry »
Surviving Zombies In An Urban Area
When an outbreak occurs it is our recommendation that you get away from civilization and the populous in general. Unfortunately this is not going to be an option for some people, especially those on the East Coast of the North American continent. So what should those survivors do when the undead rise and begin eating the living?
The best choice you can make at the beginning is to go up, not down. Never move down to the street level or below. Always get above the crowd and destroy or block any paths that would allow anyone to follow you. Read the rest of this entry »
Rule 4: Seatbelts
Well, Ralph Nader demanded them, the NHTSA suggested them, Australia started to legislate them, and every state but New Hampshire require them. Seatbelts are here to stay folks, and what can we say, they’re not a bad idea.
They’ll certainly keep you from plowing through the windshield when you hit a wall going 60+ miles per hour. But are they really necessary when dealing with zombies? We’re on the fence on that one.
First of all, driving a car may not be your best idea during an outbreak. The streets and highways are sure to be congested with vehicles that have either run out of gas, been in an accident, or where the driver becomes a zombie while operating the vehicle.
Additionally and as we mentioned, you want to avoid populated areas. Where there are roads, there are people. A.K.A if you can drive there, it’s probably a populated area. We would rather recommend you get a good bike than choose a car. Read the rest of this entry »
Hunting The Undead (or How To Track A Zombie)
In the initial hours, days, and weeks of an outbreak you need to run and create an area for you and your force to survive above all else. Eventually the outbreak will either peter out, it will reach maximum density and won’t spread any further, or the outbreak area will be cordoned off by the authorities and the spread will fail to grow.
At this point it’s time to start thinking of taking back territory and start hunting down the zombies. When this time comes there are several important rules to follow to ensure you survive as the hunter and don’t become the hunted.
First and foremost, don’t get bitten. It sounds logical, but it’s not as easy as that. Not only are you about to put yourself into an area covered in the undead but you’re going looking to put yourself into their space, and thus possibly their teeth.
We plan on going into greater detail in the future, but for now here are the basic rules for zombie hunting: Read the rest of this entry »
Rule 3: Beware of Bathrooms
To be honest, there’s not much we can say about the rule specifically. I mean when a zombie outbreak occurs you had better be checking every room (bathroom, closet, kitchen, whatever) before entering anyway. And once you’ve entered that room you damn well better be securing any doorways, windows, air vents, etc. from zombie infiltration.
Now, while we think the particular rule is rather understated, we do agree with its spirit. You always have to be on your toes when a zombie outbreak occurs. There isn’t a moment that you can relax because you really never know where or when an attack will occur.
If you’re in the bathroom, you have to keep a watchful eye and ear out. The undead have no compunction about attacking you while you’re dropping the kids off at the pool or draining your lizard. They’re not any less likely to attack you because you haven’t washed your hands yet, of course they’re not any more likely to attack you here either.
Basic rule, always be on your toes, even when nature requires you to be on your ass.
No Where To Run, No Where To Hide
The question is often asked, “where do you run when the zombies are right behind you?” One of the easiest options a person can use in determining the safest places to go is to look at a map of the planet at night (see above.) Where ever there are no lights, thats a good place to get away from the masses soon to be turned.
Now, viewing these maps you’ll see that Europe and most of North America are veritable lightbulbs, with few dark areas. In the event of a zombie outbreak it is easy to foresee these areas will be quickly overrun by the fleeing citizenry. Read the rest of this entry »
Rule 2: Doubletap
Ah the Doubletap. This is our favorite rule, and the most important one on the list as far as we’re concerned. As the man says, “In those moments where you’re not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don’t get all stingy with your bullets.” (Columbus, Zombieland) We couldn’t agree more.
If your not sure, hell even if you are sure, but not 110% completely, undoubtedly, totally, fucking positive that the undead wretch you’ve just pulled the trigger on is 100% totally dead, then shoot it again right in the temple or eye-socket. Make sure each and every time, and you’ll have nothing to worry about.
Of course you’ll need to ensure you have enough ammunition, but since most of the world is going to be turned into cannon fodder then they won’t need their weapons when they’re gone. Most big box stores, firing ranges, gun shops and pawn shops will have more ammunition then you’ll be able to carry, so grab what you can and get out.
If you’re really hard up, you can even make your own ammunition. There are plenty of resources both online, at your library, and at those afore mentioned gun shops. Grab the literature, and start finding out what you’ll need. One thing to note, is that making your own ammo is both dangerous and noisy.
